Freedom


It’s when you’re thrown in darkness that you most appreciate the light, when you’ve been in the scorching sun that you most appreciate the shade, when you’re parched that you most appreciate water… I’m sure you know all this.

It’s only been three weeks since I started work work proper and woah, the freedom each Friday/Saturday and especially today with a one week break coming, tastes so sweet. The freedom to be wandering around aimlessly and not worry about getting home to get work done, or to get sleep. The freedom to wonder to yourself, where should I go next? and know that it really doesn’t matter– I can wander for a few more hours or I can go home, it’s entirely up to me.

Not to mention the freedom to wear something other than collared shirt and pants, and the freedom to actually style my hair something other than boring neat and normal, and the freedom to  paint my nails odd colours and…

Too bad my freedom will never last long enough for me to have the freedom to have funky hair…

This afternoon we were about to jay walk across the road and the group of us were like um, no so nice right, for us as what we are, to jay walk? One of the girls exclaimed, we have no freedom!

I was scrolling through my facebook newsfeed and saw pinkdot calling for volunteers. As a civil servant and especially this kind of civil servant, am I not allow to volunteer for pink dot? Is my freedom really that restricted?

Can I survive three years in this environment, with these restrictions? To put a part of me (a large part?) on hold and behind bars for now? How sweet will the freedom taste after three whole years? Or would I be ‘tamed’ by then and these things no longer freedoms that I crave but mere wild fancies that I can easily do without? Would I find that it was those childish whims that were restricting me and holding me back, keeping me from reaching my full potential and leading a productive life?

Freedom to be who you want to be versus the freedom to fit in and live a normal, respectable life. How important is the freedom to be whatever you want to be, do whatever you want to do… compared to all the other priorities in life?

Pink dot updates!


I’m back from Sydney! We went sand boarding and whale watching and all was awesomeawesome. It would be nice if I can upload photos and do a proper entry for my quick holiday, but I’m not sure if I will have the time to. :(

Anyway, being in Sydney was the reason I missed this years Pink Dot, so I’ve been combing through the videos and pictures from the event and it looks BEYOND AWESOME. Simply watching the videos makes me grin so widely and feel like crying. If I had been there in the swaying crowd singing along to ‘True Colours’, I would probably have been bawling.

When I went last year, the sense of community and belonging was already so strong. You look around you and it’s so… strange and refreshing. Positively heartwarming. You get this surprising sense of… oh wow, I’m not alone after all. There are people just like me! A surprising sense of feeling comfortable and at home. Surprising because you’re so accustomed to the norm that you don’t realize those out-of-place feelings are constantly there until you have this to contrast it with.

To think it was just last year when I attended with my ex; I wore my platforms plus borrowed a pink shirt from her. She was fully decked out in a pink yukata.

Well, I won’t say too much since I wasn’t even there this year. Shall leave you with some links to articles and pictures and sharings of the event. :) Can’t wait to be a part of this next year! It’ll be even bigger and better! <3

Shout out from Jason Mraz! Aw, I like him even more now. <3

Singapore shines at Pink Dot 2012!

Featured on inSing!

On the Wall Street Journal: Pink Dot in Singapore Highlights Gay-Rights Debate
A straight person’s (very moving!) perspective: Elyssa on facebook
Msn news: Pink Dot Breaks Record with 15,000 Attendees 

Pink Dot Plushie!


I hate the colour pink. I don’t know why exactly, but I always have. Somehow, 5 year-old-me already treated pink as the ultimate representation of everything I didn’t like, or didn’t identify with. In fact, I never knew people actually liked pink– I thought it was the colour you were just supposed to dislike. The only people who liked pink were little girls who had been brainwashed into liking it by their mothers who dressed them in pink from head to toe. (I may have gotten this idea from my mother. Oh, the irony.)

Okay, so I’m no longer that ignorant– as unbelievable as it may seem to me, people do actually sincerely like pink. And many times little girls and not-so-little girls deck themselves out, head to toe, in pink because they do like it. And I guess now that my eyes have been opened, I’ve softened my position somewhat– I suppose I can see how certain shades of pink might be pretty. Oh, and pink flowers. Pink on flowers can be absolutely lovely!

…It’s still my least favourite colour though. And I don’t own any pink clothes and wouldn’t buy any pink accessories of any kind if I can help it. Last year, when I had to beg/borrow/steal something pink to wear to pinkdot, I was very… “WHY, pinkdot organizers, WHY? WHY PINK? Why not… rainbow! I can do rainbow dot. I like rainbows!  Why not… purple dot! I thought purple was a ‘gay colour’? I can do purple. I like purple!”

Well. Despite my innate resistance to the colour pink, look what I have hanging on my bag now:

:D :D :D A pink dot plushie/keychain! I think the pink contrasts very nicely with my black bag (I can’t believe I’m saying this).

This is the smallest size they have. There are two larger sizes. You can buy them online from here, or go down to any one of three physical shops in Singapore. My friends and I went down to VERY Wooonderland in B3 of Ion and the two of them spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to choose the roundest, cutest ones while I kept trying my best to convince them that ALL THE PINK DOTS LOOK THE SAME C’MON AREN’T YOU DONE YET.

I feel like buying extras to give out to people, but I don’t know who I could give them out to…

(If you don’t know what Pink Dot is, check out my previous post for a short explanation and this years campaign video!)

Pink Dot 2012: Someday


Pink Dot is a non-profit movement started in Singapore in 2009 that supports the freedom to love for LGBT people. Every year, participants gather to form a giant pink dot to show their support for the cause.

Last year was my first time attending, and a record of over 10, 000 people turned up. It’s a very simple event– you just show up for a couple of hours and there’s some entertainment and performances as well as some booths. Then we gather as a photographer from a vantage point somewhere captures the moment. Nothing more. But such a simple thing can be so powerful; it was so heartwarming just to wander around and see so many LGBT and pro-LGBT people being open, being themselves and supporting the cause. It gives me hope.

The video above is this year’s campaign video, and watching it made me cry.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to attend this year’s Pink Dot (30th June), so if you’re Singaporean or are in Singapore at that time please do go down on my behalf! Bring your friends, family, pets… and share the video!

Find out more about pinkdot from their website, the wikipedia entry, their facebook page or watch last year’s campaign video as well as videos of the event itself on their youtube channel.

Someday…