Storming


There’s a delicious storm outside.

the sky is red
the rain falls in torrents
and the wind comes in gusts against the window panes.

if only storms at this hour meant

you could stay up to watch them
forehead pressed against cool glass
untamed rivulets separated from your fingertips by centimeters

when that becomes temptation too much
perhaps even go outside for the full taste
being in the heart of magnificence
feeling pelting drops of water on your skin and in your hair and eyes
getting soaked and chilled to the bone

and not go to work tomorrow.

Instead, I shut my windows tight
so that nothing gets wet.
close my curtains
so I can’t see the lightning.
The thunder is muffled and far away.

and be thankful, I suppose, I can shut out the storm
turn out the lights
snuggle under the covers
warm, dry and oblivious in my modern cave
and try to go to sleep.

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Honey Lemon Sunshine


You can lie to the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. 

You can dissociate from the world, but you can’t dissociate from yourself. 
~~~

I wish time would stop– just for a little while. Let me live in this moment– and this moment only– just for a little while, without feeling the grains slipping through my fingers, without thinking about what next, without worrying about significance, without worrying about the future or the big picture. 

Just a pause to do nothing but soak in the moment, without it running by and slipping away into oblivion. 

The moment I mean– it feels a pretty colour. Light– like honey lemon rays of sunshine, or crystal turquoise streams of water. But lighter, much lighter than either of that. Just a swash of colour and light enough to float you away. 

~~~

Downstairs someone is shouting, screaming, fighting. 
I really hate it when people fight, when people scream, when people shout. 
When I hear the anger and venom in their voices, I want nothing more than to shrink and shirk and hide away, away, away… 

I feel like shouting back at them (ironic)
take your fight somewhere else
don’t destroy other people’s peace,
other people’s moment
I can hear you from the 40th storey for crying out loud


but while their voices, reflected by the ground, travel up
mine would merely be whipped away by the wind…
whipped away by the wind. 

A cup of tea 
would be nice.
or honey? 
tea with honey? mm. 
~~~

and you write.
to what purpose? 

we went up, and we went down
we went fast, we went slow
we expanded energy, then we ate
we started at a point, and ended up at another, not too far away. 

to what purpose?

to what purpose, any of it? 

who has the task
of injecting meaning
fashioning purpose
is it god? ourselves? 
or something in between? 

Windy Sunsets


I love walking home in the evenings, before the sun sets on a day with nice weather like today. There’s always something so poignant and emotional and beautiful about the times of dawn and dusk.

The blue sky and it’s puffy white clouds, so beautiful, so beautiful.
We spend too much of the day indoors.
Want to just spend all my time sitting by the beach, staring into the horizon.
And feel the wind embrace you.

I love the wind, I really do. When it blows, it feels all encompassing, going around, over and, it seems, almost through you. I close my eyes as it roars past my ears and whistles through my hair. It makes me think and feel of carefree days, of freedom, of love and joy, of simple pleasures and happiness. It stirs up vagues wisps of emotion-memories of being overseas, on holiday, relaxing. It stirs up vague wisps of feeling-memories of the beach, of Bishan park, of Changi beach club, of childhood memories and being much younger. Perhaps it even reaches further back than that to the memories of childhood dreams and desires to fly.

The blue sky and white clouds and trees and wind also call up memories of Jalan Bangket. Of MacRitchie Reservoir. Of taking walks in her estate…of relationship memories.

It’s a taste. Of openness, freedom, carefreeness, contentment, peace and a simple joy… But also of days gone by. Of past simplicities and securities. Of being young, when everything was always alright. Of a happiness, light-heartedness and optimism that I no longer possess… it makes me melancholy.

The wind always fills me with emotion. If a were a theist I’d say that’s when I feel closest to God, when I can almost literally feel His embrace, his reassurance, his love. Yes, I feel so loved. But I’m not a theist.

Instead, I’d say its when I feel most alive, most aware of the beauty of life and living, most in awe and appreciation, most at one and almost at peace with the world.

The most beautiful things in life are often bittersweet, like the sunset at dusk.

Related:
I Think I Love the Wind the Best 

When was the last time you took the time to watch the changing clouds?


Sometimes
The things left un-said
Clang louder than the things that are.

But it’s okay.

I promise to take some time to watch the changing clouds.
I promise to come back and comb the library.
I promise to take a stroll down the beach.

I promise to touch as many of those millions of point of light as I can.
Touch, touch, touch. And paint my picture, an explosion of fireworks.

Can you see what I see?

Apple butter on a biscuit


This video deserves more love.

Lack of a god doesn’t take away meaning, humility, love, appreciation, morality, understanding, security, selflessness or anything else from life. Without God, you can still love life, make sense of it, be humbled by your place in the universe, appreciate and accept the mysteries and unknowns in life, be at peace, find purpose and meaning, do the right things. In fact, I tend to think life is more meaningful, the world is more beautiful and awe-inspiring without the idea of a god being behind it.

Religion ‘works’ and religion continues to exists because different aspects of religion fulfill a myriad purposes, the biggest of which is to provide an answer to the meaning of life, and it does it quite well. But I don’t believe that religion alone can fulfill these purposes. I think every ideal and concept in religion and why people find religion comforting and fulfilling can be translated into non-religious terms.