There’s a delicious storm outside.
the sky is red
the rain falls in torrents
and the wind comes in gusts against the window panes.
if only storms at this hour meant
you could stay up to watch them
forehead pressed against cool glass
untamed rivulets separated from your fingertips by centimeters
when that becomes temptation too much
perhaps even go outside for the full taste
being in the heart of magnificence
feeling pelting drops of water on your skin and in your hair and eyes
getting soaked and chilled to the bone
and not go to work tomorrow.
Instead, I shut my windows tight
so that nothing gets wet.
close my curtains
so I can’t see the lightning.
The thunder is muffled and far away.
and be thankful, I suppose, I can shut out the storm
turn out the lights
snuggle under the covers
warm, dry and oblivious in my modern cave
and try to go to sleep.
Sometimes happiness is elusive, even when you believe in simple pleasures. I don’t know where I can find it or what it is sometimes.
Reminders are always good, although I suppose there are different levels of happiness.
Happiness is… watch your cat climb around on your table, quietly exploring while glancing at you every once in a while with her gorgeous eyes.
Many Christians I’ve talked to are worried about what happens after homosexuality is decriminalized and gay marriage is sanctioned. This is a very real motivation for them to strike preemptively and keep homosexuality criminalized.
A lot of church leaders focus on narratives where a cake shop owner or pastor or Mozilla’s CEO are sued or fired for being anti-gay. From their point of view, people should be allowed to choose whether or not to serve a customer based on the sexual orientation of the customer. A lot of my friends are outraged by the idea that laws could be passed to “protect religious freedoms” by legalizing discrimination. Almost happened in Arizona.
I actually think these shops and services should be allowed to discriminate against homosexuals on the condition that they must hang a yellow star in their shop windows and websites. That way the rest of us will be able…
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it feels like three steps forward two steps back
or perhaps the other way around.
it feels just impossible.
utterly and truly impossible.
it feels like standing on a spot
you think you’re moving
the scenery’s changing
but in fact you’re just spinning round.
you really have to wonder
if reality is out there
or if it is only
Its cover of darkness, the comfort of a well worn duvet.
Its quite stillness and calm, a welcome to respite to the heat and bustle of the day.
I want to sit, in the moment; walk, alone with thoughts; smile, with the wind; and just be.
Instead, because it is late, I head for the train. I want to linger, but I should just go home.
Too bright, too hard, too shiny, too plastic and too choke full of people. Garish. It repulsed me so much, but I stepped into the crush anyway.
Which is reality, and can’t I choose?
I realize I imagine it still– slitting my wrists. No, not exactly; not so much that action of slitting as the sensation of having your wrist slit. A numbing, tingling sensation and hands going cold, limp and weak.
I’m so angry– angry at the world, angry at everyone for being such a disappointment. But most of all, angry at myself, and thats’s the worst of all, the one that makes everything else crumble.
What is the point of it?
Too often, it is. The number of times I wish to disappear. Too often, to not exist. Too often, that there’s no point. Feeling too helpless, useless and trapped.
We may have limited power, but still we have the ability to make a stand for the kind of world we want to live in.
“To be very honest,” said Mei, a student aged 23, “I don’t know much about what happened then.” She wasn’t even born when the arrests began in 1987.
“But somehow the whole idea that you can imprison somebody without having to show proof in a court just strikes me as wrong.”
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