What I don’t understand is where the ‘care’ went.
How is it that you can go from caring so much, to not caring at all?
What I don’t understand are the masks– back to the basics, like strangers. To speak to each other with polite, surface smiles and upbeat small talk, keeping each other at more than arms length, when once we shared all manner of heart to heart talks. It feels so pointless, fake and above all, really, really sad. Can’t I be myself with you any more?
To have taken all that time to figure out that maze, to slowly disassemble the walls and put down the masks. What a blessing it is to have that sort of familiarity, closeness, trust with another human being. What a curse to have that taken away.
What I don’t understand is– well, everything.
It doesn’t matter, I guess, what I understand or fail to understand. Life goes on.
When I dream of you, I awake with a sense of happiness and contentment. I dreamt last night that I wanted to take you out ‘flying’. Yes, I fly in my dreams. Flying dreams are the best sort of dreams ever.
We’ll keep dreaming of the sky. Colours and wind, colours and wind.