Everything and nothing at all


Thinking of all the ways you loved me

Thinking of all the ways I loved you

Love.

The words that mean the most are also the ones that mean nothing at all…

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Sits like a stone


It sits like a stone.

like a habit you just can’t break.
like a place you automatically head for
even though it’s now gone empty and cold
and the comfort it used to give
now just a memory.

you turn it over and over and over
running your fingers over the contours
tracing the faint lines and crevices
trying to uncover something new, something you missed.

It sits like a stone.
in my mind.

Un-Zombify 1


So i’ve more or less been living like a zombie for the past however long.

Living without thinking, living on autopilot, focussing just on putting one foot in front of the other. Living only in the present moment and forgetting everything once the moment’s passed. Not thinking about the future or in long arcs. I guess this has to stop at some point, for that isn’t really living.

Life is starting to get interesting again; new things and people coming in and I find myself starting to be optimistic about it all. To facilitate this movement away from zombiehood and to kinda help ensure I don’t fall back into being a zombie, I thought I’d try starting a small project: once a week, to state something that

a) I am grateful for, or that had made me happy
b) I’m looking forward to in the coming week and
c) a goal for the coming week.

So, let’s start right away!

Grateful/happy: The very cool weather yesterday morning made me smile, made me relax, made me enjoy. Grateful for that nice spell in between all the stifling heat we’ve been having. Also grateful for friends whom I’m going out with later. :)

Looking forward to: Majorly looking forward to buying and learning the ukulele! :) :)

Goal for the coming week:  Shall start with an easy one; to not be late for lessons next week. Was late so many times this week. How embarrassing.

See you next week!

Of pink boys, the man box and gayness in Hebrew


Maybe my expectations of society have gotten too high– after all, it was just in my father’s generation where left-handers like him were forced to write with their rights hands. But with the super rapid pace of change that’s happening these days, one can always hope that all the changes I wish to see will happen within my lifetime…

Three things to share today.

1. Pink Boys: Gender is not binary!

What’s so bad about a boy who wants to wear a dress? is an article from The New York Times. I really agree with what it says, and wish everyone would read it and broaden their perspectives a little. Some excerpts:

“…gender is a spectrum rather than two opposing categories, neither of which any real man or woman precisely fits.

It might make your world more tidy to have two neat and separate gender possibilities, but when you squish out the space between, you do not accurately represent lived reality.”

 

“In the 19th century, both boys and girls often wore dresses and long hair until they were 7. Colors weren’t gendered consistently. At times pink was considered a strong, and therefore masculine, color, while blue was considered delicate. Children’s clothes for both sexes included lace, ruffles, flowers and kittens. That started to change in the early 20th century.”

 

“These days, flouting gender conventions extends even to baby naming: first names that were once unambiguously masculine are now given to girls. The shift, however, almost never goes the other way. That’s because girls gain status by moving into “boy” space, while boys are tainted by the slightest whiff of femininity. “There’s a lot more privilege to being a man in our society,” says Diane Ehrensaft, a psychologist at the University of California, San Francisco, who supports allowing children to be what she calls gender creative. “When a boy wants to act like a girl, it subconsciously shakes our foundation, because why would someone want to be the lesser gender?””

2. The manbox and why men must and should be liberated from its walls.

Tony Porter: A Call to Men, at TEDwomen

You can find the transcript helpfully typed out here at Shakesville as well. Excerpts below:

“I can remember speaking to a 12-year-old boy, a football player, and I asked him, I said, “How would you feel if, in front of all the players, your coach told you, you were playing like a girl?” Now, I expected him to say something like, “I’d be sad; I’d be mad; I’d be angry,” something like that. No, the boy said to me, the boy said to me, “It would destroy me.”

And I said to myself, “God, if it would destroy him to be called a girl, what are we then teaching him about girls?””

 

Well, just watch the video, it’s only 12 minutes long. And it speaks The Truth, a truth that you need to know!

3. Pretty girls, thorny religious plus gender plus lgbt themes all wrapped up in an exotic foreign language (everything sounds sexier in a foreign language, no?). What’s there not to like? 8D

The Secrets

The 20th Israel Film Festival (IFF) in Singapore is happening from 5th – 11th of September this year and Cathay will be screening this film. I definitely plan to catch it!

Synopsis: Two brilliant young women discover their own voices in a repressive orthodox culture Naomi, the studious, devoutly religious daughter of a prominent rabbi, convinces her father to postpone her marriage for a year so that she might study at a Jewish seminary for women. Naomi’s quest for individuality takes a defiant turn when she befriends Michelle, a free-spirited and equally headstrong fellow student. When the pair encounters a mysterious, ailing foreigner with a disturbing past, they begin a risky journey into forbidden realm, opening up overwhelming new horizons. The girls soon find themselves caught between the rigid male establishment they grew up in, and the desire to be true to themselves, no matter the cost.

Accolades
9 Nominations including:
Best Supporting Actress and Actor, Ophir Awards 2007
Best Feature, 2008 Jackson Hole Film Festival

Waiting Dreaming Hoping Loving


Waiting, waiting
Ever waiting
Waiting till the ends of time

Waiting, waiting
Calmly waiting
For the day you’ll again be mine

Dreaming, dreaming
Nightly dreaming
Of you, with you in normal life

Dreaming, dreaming
Shattered dreamings
Of you, with you as my wife

Hoping, Hoping
Ever hoping
Rightly so, this hope is frail

Hoping, hoping
Futile hoping
Yet it remains so hard to kill

Loving, loving
Unconditional loving
Once in my heart forever there it’ll lie

Loving, loving
Silently yearning
Just like hope, love never dies.